Friday, June 26, 2009

A Famous Person Has Died

I love this cartoon.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Pet Peeve # 31545

It seems like my list is growing larger and faster the older I get. Beware young folks. Coming to your neighborhood soon.

Anyway, back to my grumpy-ness. You see it all the time. Instead of using the actual word, they use the first letter of the word. The N word. The V word. The E word. The D word. Would you stop it already and just use the stupid word? You're confusing the old folks.

And while I'm at it, why do men still wear their shirt collars up? I thought that went out with the 80's?

Friday, June 19, 2009

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

End of The World Part 2

I just want to know if they make one for dogs.
My neighbor needs one.
No, this is not a joke.


Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Monday, June 15, 2009

It's The End of Civilization


I was cutting the lawn yesterday and this lady is walking her two little mutts past my house.
It's time to poop so she stops in order for them to do their business.
Now, I see this all the time in my neighborhood.
I understand not wanting to step in poop so I guess people should curb their dogs (whatever that means). But people actually walk around with these little plastic bags to clean up after their dogs.
Is this now a part of American culture? Have we sunk so low?
Obviously we haven't. Read on dear reader.

So I'm cutting the grass trying to ignore this pooper scooper lady when she not only pulls out her little plastic bag, she also takes out a little bit of toilet paper and gives the old hound a wipe or two!!

I almost shinola-ed myself (which begs the question.. would she have done the same for me?)
See folks, this is why I will never, ever own a dog.
Pick up his shinola?!? Pullllease!
Wipe his poop shoot ?!?
End of the world tomorrow.

This is also why cats are the coolest.
I know Patti and Vicki agree with me.

Geek Humor

COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den
and I'm thinking about buying a computer.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.

ABBOTT: Your computer?

COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.

ABBOTT : Mac?

COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.

ABBOTT: What about Windows?

COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?

COSTELLO: I don't know.
What will I see when I look at the windows?

ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

COSTELLO: Never mind the windows.
I need a computer and software.

ABBOTT: Software for Windows?

COSTELLO: No.. On the computer!
I need something I can u se to write proposals,
track expenses and run my business.

What do you have?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

ABBOTT: I just did.

COSTELLO: You just did what?

ABBOTT: Recommend something.

COSTELLO: You recommended something?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: For my office?

ABBOTT: Yes

COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.

COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows!
OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer
and I want to type a proposal.

What do I need?

ABBOTT: Word..

COSTELLO: What word?

ABBOTT: Word in Office.

COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.

ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?

ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue 'W'.

COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue 'w'
if you don't start with some straight answers.
What about financial bookkeeping?
You have anything I can track my money with?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: That's right What do you have?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?

ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.

COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?

ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.

COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

ABBOTT: One copy.

COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?

ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?

ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!

(A few days later)

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?

ABBOTT: Click on 'START'

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Silence Is Loud

I've been riding the cycle into work for a number of years now. I just turned over 30,000 miles. One of the benefits is obviously saving $$ on gas. Our gas bill has drastically dropped. Just this past week I've noticed another benefit I never counted on.

I rarely listen to the radio anymore. When I use to drive the car the radio was always on. Now that I ride the bike I have a lot more mind time. No audible distractions. I find myself praying on the way to work and back home. It's really been great.

And I don't miss the radio. I'm so tired of listening to the same songs over and over again. When I was 13 that was fine but now that I'm an old man I need something new. Plus, as you know, I hate commercials.

We've been watching the Magic games this past week and when it gets to the commercials, I have to walk out (if Mama's got the remote) or pause the DVR for a few minutes while the commercial passes.

Anyway, back to silence. I love the sound of silence. To me there's no such thing as an awkward silence. Like this:



It's all good. If you've got nothing to say, you've got nothing to say.
Ain't nuttin' wrong wit dat.

Now, Wendy has a problem with that so she has to educate us about avoiding such situations:



I got one thing to say to Wendy: Shuddup already and quit messin' with my silence.
I leave you with the boys.


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World's Smallest Girl

1ft 11½in tall