Don't Mess With Them

You don't tug on superman's cape
You don't spit into the wind
You don't pull the mask off that old lone ranger
And you don't mess around with...them

The FBI had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there were 3 finalists; two men and a woman. For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances."

Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair . .. . Kill her!!"

The man said, "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife." The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home."

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, "I tried, but I can't kill my wife." The agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife home."

Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls.

After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman, wiping the sweat from her brow. "This gun is loaded with blanks" she said. "I had to beat him to death with the chair."

MORAL:

Women are crazy. Don't mess with them.

Clean Screen

Tired of always having to deal with a dirty monitor screen or laptop screen?
Thumb prints getting you down bubby?

Well try this:

Hat tip to Ali.

Mini Ha Ha

Fifty Years of Math in the USA (1959-2009)

Last week I purchased a burger at Burger King for $1.58. The counter girl took my $ 2 and I was digging for my change when I pulled 8 cents from my pocket and gave it to her. She stood there, holding the nickel and 3 pennies, while looking at the screen on her register. I sensed her discomfort and tried to tell her to just give me two quarters , but she hailed the manager for help. While he tried to explain the transaction to her, she stood there and cried.
Why do I tell you this?
Because of the evolution in teaching math since the 1950s:

1. Teaching Math In 1950s
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price.
What is his profit?

2. Teaching Math In 1960s
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80.
What is his profit?

3. Teaching Math In 1970s
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80.
Did he make a profit?

4. Teaching Math In 1980s
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20.
Your assignment: Underline the number 20.

5. Teaching Math In 1990s
A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of $20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes?
(There are no wrong answers, and if you feel like crying, it's ok.)

6. Teaching Math In 2009
Un hachero vende una carretada de madera para $100. El costo de la producciones es $80. Cuanto dinero ha hecho?

Happy Earth Day

Wow.
Sometimes I'm glad I'm Only Visiting This Planet.

Mellow Jam

It's been a while since I've posted a jam.
This song has been rollin' around my head for the last few days and it won't leave.
Bob Welch use to play for Fleetwood Mac.
Blue Eyes and I were singing it on the way home form the concert.

14 joys and a will to be merry...

I have no clue but it's a great song.

In Concert

A group of us went to see Fleetwood Mac at the arena last night.
What a concert! For a bunch of 60 year olds, they could still jam.
And they sounded great.
Stevie Nicks looked amazing. The woman is 60 years old!!





At one point Blue Eyes leaned over and said "You know that's not her real hair. A 60 year old woman does not have hair like that."
I picked up my binoculars and strained to see if it truly was.
I couldn't tell. But yeah, 60 year old women don't have hair like that.
~sigh~
Hey, did i mention she sounded great too.

Really?

Middle-Aged Women Flocking to Facebook --
and Getting Addicted.

In a corresponding, and somewhat ironic, twist, addiction recovery centers have recently experienced an influx of women seeking help for Internet dependency. Coleen Moore, of the Illinois Institute for Addiction Recovery, says she has helped women who don't bathe [dude!] and abuse drugs in order to stay awake and chase the Web dragon. According to Moore, most of these women are either the mothers of adult children who use the Internet to fill a void created by an empty nest, or by new mothers who use the Web to combat feelings of isolation.

Ladies, look at me.
Put the mouse down and feed your husband.
He's hungry.

Music

Yeah, I love music too.

Spring Break Summary

I took last week off for spring break. I usually work this week because I can get so much done when the teachers and students are gone but I decided I needed a break.
So what did I do?
Mel Brooks... take it away...



I worked my tail off. Major projects around the house, clients calling me to fix their computers (my side business), clients calling me to set up photography shoots (my other business), prospective clients asking me to manage their web site (future business). Man, I'm tired.

No time to post, no time to rest. We did manage to make it to the beach a few times. Last Saturday it was perfect and Thursday it was even better (what's better than perfect?).

Anyway, as I was laying on the beach I got to thinking about something my wife said to me three and a half years ago when I first started to blog. She said, "Be careful what you write about on that blog thing. You're exposing yourself to the whole world." And I said "Honey, I'm not that kind of man. I don't do stuff like that." And she said "Don't be a dope. You know what I mean."
And of course she was right (she usually is).

However, there are some things I don't mind making public.
Such as:

1. I love to sleep

2. I believe in personal responsibility

3. After 34 years I am still amazed by His Grace

4. I love the smell of orange blossoms (among other things)

5. I like it when people speak in sentences not paragraphs or chapters or books or major publications. Shuddup already.

6. I hate talking on the phone. Along those same lines, if you leave a message on my phone, keep it short. Very short. After 5 seconds I'll delete it. Shuddup already.

7. I usually express myself better in writing than in voice.

8. I tend to mumble. My lips get in the way.

9. I love listening to people in their 70's and 80's. They got some stories to tell. They can talk in chapters to me. They've earned it.

10. I love Walmart. 'Nough said.

11. I love the wind in my face. I feel it's God's kiss to me.

12. I love sitting at the edge of the shore line and feeling the pounding of high tide.

13. I despise reality TV. It makes me want to hurl. There ain't nothing real about it. Well, maybe there is: it's really boring.

14. I love pizza as much as I love ... pizza

15. I don't mind getting old. It is kind of weird though.

16. I like being bald (or close to it). I look at pictures of when I had hair and I had some kind of mess up there. Hair history here.

17. I like to be alone and don't like to be in crowds.

18. I love my job(s).

19. If I were to do it again, I'd marry Blue Eyes again. She's the bomb.

20. After 40 years, I've finally started to wear sandals. Long story.

21. I like my feet and hope to avoid what happens to them as you age. Ewwwwwwe.

Bon Appetite

As Patti would say, "Oh my lands!".
Take a gander at these gems.
Dude. Put the burger down and repeat after me:

1. Eat Right
2. Eat Less
3. Move more

Go forth and do likewise.. or something like that.




UPDATE: You might want to go easy on # 3

Blogging From The Beach

'Tis a righteous day in Central Fla.

Mr. Earll

For those of you love and appreciate our Mr. Earll, check this out.