Strict Church Membership

OK. I know pilgrims are not allowed to talk about sex in public but it is a gift from the Almighty and this one involves a married couple. I've cleaned it up the best I could:

A couple wanted to join a very strict church. The pastor told them, "We have a special requirement for new member couples. To show your devotion to God and others outside of your union, you must abstain from sex for one whole month."

The couple agreed and after two-and-a-half weeks returned to the church.
When the Pastor ushered them into his office, the wife was crying and the husband was obviously very depressed. "You are back so soon...is there a problem?", the pastor inquired. "We are terribly ashamed to admit that we did not manage to abstain for the required month," the young man replied sadly. The pastor asked him what happened.

''Well, the first week was difficult but we managed to abstain through sheer willpower. The second week was terrible, but with the use of prayer, we managed to abstain.." "However, the third week was unbearable. We tried cold showers, prayer, reading from scripture...anything to keep our minds off carnal thoughts."

"One afternoon, my wife reached for a can of paint and dropped it. When she went to pick it up, I was overcome with desire and I just had to make love to her right then and there. It was lustful, loud and passionate. It lasted for over an hour and when we were done we were both drenched in sweat," admitted the man, shamefacedly.

The pastor lowered his head and said sternly, "You understand this means you will not be welcome in our church." "We know," said the young man, hanging his head, "We're not welcome at Home Depot either."